The Cap’n’s Wafers: another Pirate Poem

Yer sure to be a damn sight safer
If ye keep yer hooks off the Cap’n’s Wafers…

But thirsty pirates cry to savor
Rum with crumbs of Cap’n’s Wafers,

“Ye saucy wench, go fetch the tray fer
Grog to wash down Cap’n’s Wafers!”

Fer that booty, pirates gave her
Looted loads of Cap’n’s Wafers.

Buccaneers arr even braver
Swashbuckling under Cap’n’s Wafers,

Mutineers arr sold to slavers
Slavering fer Cap’n’s Wafers,

Natives tricked by sly palaver
Trade their pearls fer Cap’n’s Wafers,

Mermaids sing as they display their
Treasure chests fer Cap’n’s Wafers,

Freebooters groom the beards they favor
Combing out the Cap’n’s Wafers;

At Queen’s decree, the Navy shaves her
Privateers fer Cap’n’s Wafers!

Yer sure to be a damn sight safer,
If ye keep yer hooks off the Cap’n’s Wafers.
May/June 2012


About nitrovonborax

The Mighty Arthammer of von Borax strikes the Anvil of Universal Consciousness, forging Iconic Singularities of Metaphor. Nitro von Borax is widely recognized as the natural heir to the crumbling facade of an empire that Thomas Kinkade built with massmarket hack-retouched cottagey papscapes, which glow as though lit by pernicious chip-grease fires within and trigger pleasurable dissociative transport to the plebian viewer. Mr. von Borax, known to his discerning, sophisticated & politically progressive fans as "The Painter of Sprinkly Sparkles," pulls inspiration from Betty & Veronica BOTH, stolen travel brochures & comic books, Martin Denny & Italian Giallo Movies to visualize and manifest pure unfettered awesomeness for your astral excursions. His portfolio resonates at a frequency only bats can hear.

Posted on June 8, 2012, in Poems and Literary Peccadillos and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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