Sightseeing

I’ve been On the Road Again, and Oh, the sights I have seen, the amazing sights and incredible stuff.

Went to San Diego: the Target there is AMAZING! They have a huge line of housewares, and many nice towels. I bought some sunglasses. THEY WERE EXACTLY THE SAME AS SOME ONES I ONCE BOUGHT AT TARGET IN ANN ARBOR!!!!! It was amazing.

Then we travelled by camel to Taos, New Mexico: the Taco Bell there was so good! We had Tacos. Yep. Tacos in Taos. HA! The hot sauce was salty.

A few days later, we found ourselves in Boulder, Colorado. We had an elegant dinner of noodles overcooked in some kind of Mopwater at the Olive Garden. That’s Italian! I drank a gallon o’ Gallo Wine. They should use that phrase as an advertisement: Gallo: by the Gallon! I’m surprised they haven’t thought of that.

Salt Lake City, Utah was a BLAST, although when we got some Coca-Cola, it was warmish. The Hostess Fruit Pies were good, though, because they were also warmish.

Went up to Boise, Idaho to sample the local cuisine: a giant order of real potato french fries at Burger King. Salty!

We found ourselves rolling into Sioux Falls, South Dakota… The Wal-mart there was REALLY BIG. Actually, all Wal-Marts seem to be really big. Weird, isn’t it? We woulda got lost except it had the same floor plan as all the other Wal-Marts.

Atlanta, Georgia was a beautiful place: There was a Subway right next door to a McDonalds and the yellow trademarked colors that they both use were very complementary to each other.

Next we went down to Daytona Beach. The Long John Silver’s hush puppies had that distinctive musty flavor, but I only threw up a little bit. Recovered overnight and went to Denny’s for Breakfast. Ordered a “Skillet.” Why is darn stuff so darn delicious when you eat it out of a “Skillet???”

Durham, North Carolina is groovy. We split a delicious pack of Marlboros, straight from a Shell Gas Station, where they sell Marlboros in North Carolina. We bought gas there, too! It was very convenient.

Boston, Massachusetts is a historic town- we went to a real Boston Market chicken restaurant. The chicken was real good and salty. I liked the Kentucky Fried Chicken better once when I went to Kentucky. Or the Kentucky Fried Chicken in Ann Arbor was pretty much the same: deep fried… & salty!

Always heard that the lobsters in Maine were To Die For. Sure enough, lobsters turn out to be a *featured item* at the Red Lobster in Bangor. We ordered two, with a side of extra batter. They tasted a lot like a couple of lobsters we had once at the Red Lobster in Ann Arbor.

Came back by way of Akron, Ohio. MMMMMM….Krispy Kreme Donuts. Of course, they do sell those in a gas station ’bout half a mile from our house now, but those aren’t from Akron. Probably.
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But you know, it’s nice to be back. I mean, this is a great country, but sometimes you just get to missing your own Target and Taco Bell and Olive Garden and Coca Cola and Hostess products and Burger King and Wal-Mart and Subway and Long John Silvers and Dennys and Marlboros from the Shell Station and Boston Market and Kentucky Fried Chicken and Red Lobster and Krispy Kreme Donuts, you know?

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About nitrovonborax

The Mighty Arthammer of von Borax strikes the Anvil of Universal Consciousness, forging Iconic Singularities of Metaphor. Nitro von Borax is widely recognized as the natural heir to the crumbling facade of an empire that Thomas Kinkade built with massmarket hack-retouched cottagey papscapes, which glow as though lit by pernicious chip-grease fires within and trigger pleasurable dissociative transport to the plebian viewer. Mr. von Borax, known to his discerning, sophisticated & politically progressive fans as "The Painter of Sprinkly Sparkles," pulls inspiration from Betty & Veronica BOTH, stolen travel brochures & comic books, Martin Denny & Italian Giallo Movies to visualize and manifest pure unfettered awesomeness for your astral excursions. His portfolio resonates at a frequency only bats can hear.

Posted on November 26, 2014, in Poems and Literary Peccadillos and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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