Monthly Archives: July 2015

“Gutter Helmet”

Gutter Helmet

This stunning fountain wins for my favorite piece at this year’s Art Fair; titled “Gutter Helmet”- (evocative, no?) It is a merciless commentary on modern social structure and the inherent hopelessness of the human condition.

Uncle Mikey

bourgeois misreading

…And touché to Uncle Mikey, who mocks and baits me by willfully misreading this progressive piece as a bourgeois endorsement of Reaganomics. As if. Obviously, that’s exactly the message that the artist expects from the plebian, elephant-ear-anesthetized attendees of this so-called “Art Fair,” which is, as greater minds than mine have observed, neither “Art” nor “Fair.”

It hardly needs to be stated, but the true meaning, naturally:

Emerging from a mysterious tube, both phallic and representative of the birth canal, the water (the PEOPLE) are individual streams & droplets, but transparent, amorphous, almost invisible- who can tell Lithuanian from Mongolian, Zoroastrian from Esperanto, transtranstransgender from one-who-likes-only-cake? What does it matter? Impelled helplessly now as one joined mass down the asphalt shingle of life (abrasive, impervious and comprised primarily of petroleum products) the ride seems thrilling at first, until we realize it only goes downhill- and there’s no stopping! The leaves, also comprised of water, but nourished in rich soil and sunshine, represent the ruling class. They are not pulled down with the masses but cling greedily to the surface of life, as we rush down, down into- the gutter- arriving finally at this hidden, low strata, shielded not only so that the leaves will not- CAN not- enter it, but shielded also so that the pathetic scene at the end is therein unseeable/untouchable as we inevitably continue to pour into it. The downspout below the gutter funnels the wasted remains of the people back into the mystery, behind a brick wall: unknowable. Does the water recycle and emerge again from the top? A Hindu would clearly see it that way, but an atheist would suspect it was straight down the drain from there.

As I stood transfixed by this masterwork, weeping softly, the young artist herself approached me, dressed in an ironic common black polyester polo shirt with some absurd corporate logo emblazoned on it. “Genius!” I exclaimed to her.

She pretended a brief confusion, and replied, “Are you interested in our products, sir?”

“HA! What a cruel joke! Of course, I am not! I am interested in WHAT’S BEHIND THE WALL. But we don’t get to know that, do we? DO WE?? Thank you. Oh thank you,” and I staggered away, crushed, broken, and invigorated by her too-bright vision.

This Week’s Pulp Purchase: The Burning Court

The Burning Court

“She worshipped evil and made murder her religion” -they say that like it’s a BAD thing. I’m trying to imagine the other steps in the dance she’s doing, and I can’t. Also confused about the low skull shelf. Might be on the corner of a coffee table?

Corporkorate Martini Fiesta!

Well, that's a revolting spectacle, isn't it? Somebody should do something about it.

Well, that’s a revolting spectacle, now isn’t it? Somebody really should do something about it

This Week’s Pulp Purchase X2


A fist edition, no less. You know what’s great about Mickey Spillane?

1. His picture on the back of the book:


If I’d taken that picture, I’d label it “A Stewbum with a Gun.” He’s clearly toothless, The shirt is ill advised, he holds the gun without any real conviction.

2. His Signature.

3. Sometimes his titles are pretty good

4. That’s about it.

Second Purchase:

Too Many COOKS

Ah, Nero Wolfe. And we can clearly see the difficulty that arises when one goes consorting with too many cooks. It is impressive the way he’s unruffled at the guy shooting him RIGHT IN THE CHEEK. No doubt he’s anesthetized by the bottle of lager he drinks before dropping off to sleep. You know what else is great about this cover?



This Week’s Pulp Purchase: Modesty Blaise


Printed in 1966: She’s slightly younger than me. Merely $5.50 at Aunt Agatha’s. Peter O’Donnell was the writer of the Modesty Blaise comic strip, 1963-2001-  This novelization follows O’Donnell’s script of the movie Modesty Blaise (1966), which script was heavily, heavily doctored to be campier and all 1960’s weird. He ended up writing 11 Modesty Blaise novels, a couple short story collections, and over 10,000 strips.

%d bloggers like this: