Monthly Archives: September 2015

Moist Towelette Album Cover #4: “Royal Fingerbowl”

Released in 2004: with guest Harpsichordist Lord Cholmondeley of Borrf-Woffordshire, who only used nine of the keys on his harpsichord, but played it with a part of his anatomy rarely employed for the activity.

Featuring hit songs: "Sanitized for your Perfection" "Royal Since 1949"  "(I ain't your) Fingerbowl"

Featuring hit songs: “Sanitized for your Perfection”
“Royal Since 1949”
“(I ain’t your) Fingerbowl”

Moist Towelette Album Cover #3: “American Towelette”
Moist Towelette Album Cover #2: “Oo o”
Moist Towelette Album Cover #1: The eponymous album

The Frankenmuth Cheese Haus for No Good Reason

Frankenmuth Cheese Hausnvb

This Week’s Pulp Purchase: BALZAN of the cat people

Stay back or I shall strike you with my baton! IT DOTH STING SOMEWHAT!

Stay back or I shall strike you with my baton! IT DOTH STING SOMEWHAT!

Observations:

  1. BALZAN! I see: like Tarzan, but ballzier.
  2. Question: Is there some kind of Fantasy-Action-Hero-Name-Generator? KARNOK! TOKNAN! BARFORK! HARSHO! KRUNKAN! RUBRIK! Because there should be.
  3. Seriously, what’s with the frolicking flat-tailed dragon? “Oh BALZAN! I wanna be your BESTEST FRIEND!” P.S. I hate dragons with insufficient wings.
  4. Let’s see if the back of the book gives us some insights:KMBT_C454e-20150909082216
  5. No, it just gets weirder. “Emblazon a path between hallucination and reality?” Like Tim Leary?
  6. I can’t help but wonder what technique “Orala” would employ to seduce BALZAN…
  7. Wait, so instead of a lame frolicking dragon, the artist could have painted a six-legged spider anthropoid? That’s a tragically squandered opportunity.
  8. I do like cats, but I have to say, “of the Cat People” just doesn’t deliver the formidable vs. “of the Apes.”

This Week’s Pulp Purchase: The PENETRATOR

As literate as The LAMINATOR!

As literate as The LAMINATOR!

From 1978 comes The Penetrator: Mike Hardin (SUBTLE!).This book is really poorly written, but I had to get it- because between Mike Hardin’s extremely tedious dangerous assignments he recuperates in a secret hideaway in a borax mine. Other observations:

  1. Boy, those guns are pointing everywhere. Not a sophisticated composition.
  2. The girl with the floppy neck in the trenchcoat and weird negligee has an itchy calf. Or she’s part flamingo.
  3. Lionel Derrick: Jeez, another implied erection? You got a problem, dude.
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