In Which I am Disturbed by Billboards for a Local Hotel

webers 1

#1: Disturbed by Weber’s Billboard 94 Eastbound near Zeeb or thereabouts.
“Meat With Friends?” I find that creepily, unwholesomely provocative.
What are they implying, with their big naked slab of prime rib? Creeps me out.

webers 2

#2: Disturbed by Weber’s Billboard 94 Westbound near Belleville road or thereabouts.
“This Time You Deserve It.” Is that a threat or a come-on?
And what’s with the businessman leaning back in the chair and grinning, seen only from the waist up? Is that his knee OR SOMEBODY’S HEAD

webers 3

#3: Disturbed by Weber’s Billboard 94 Westbound near Jackson road or thereabouts.
“Time to Go Sleek.” What the HELL does that mean?
From the smirky, modely teenager portraited, I can only infer that you check in, Mousse your hair elaborately, and then something horrible happens
On this Billboard, Weber’s is jarringly referred to as a “Boutique Hotel,” all of a sudden, and I’m not buying it- Since when? is there some kind of certification for that? Is it only “Boutique” if you’re willing to  “Go Sleek” there? What the hell ?

webers4

#4: Disturbed by Weber’s Billboard 23 Southbound near Guidobono Concrete or thereabouts.
In a way, I find this the most disturbing OF ALL, because of the anthropomorphism. Lobsters do NOT have thumbs. And when I look at a lobster claw, I don’t want to think, mmmm, that thumb would be tasty with butter and lemon. It diminishes the experience for me.
I’m unhappy about chicken fingers too, but I’ve made peace with it. Lobster thumbs is TAKING IT TOO FAR

 

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About nitrovonborax

This Site is Under the Protection of von Borax Security, Inc. & Nose Punchers Nationwide. Watch Out & Be Nice.

Posted on July 6, 2016, in The Sometimes Too Graphic Art of Nitro von Borax, Useless Observations and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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