I Hate You, New York Times

I mean, thanks. As the source for balanced, thoughtful liberal journalism, today’s Sunday Front Page is truly exemplary: Offering thoughtful balance to the current Administration’s draconian, family-crushing, murderous doctrine (spuriously focused on Muslims, because TERRISTS, when everyone knows that all the successful terrorists are white U.S. guys), in a week when tens of thousands of people have had their hopes crushed by our country’s broken promise of freedom, the New York Times prints a one million word bullshit terror-scare article on the front page. Beautiful!

the stupid front stupid page of the stupid nyt.jpg

“Not Lone Wolves After All”!!!! “How Isis Guides World’s Terrorist Plots From Afar”!!!!!!!!!!!!! This brilliant article details several tedious, largely unsuccessful, dubiously connected, extremely tiny plots to try to kill like several people maybe, except it mostly didn’t work out. In many cases, the alleged  “terrorists” were given advice- ON THE INTERNET!!!! Sometimes encrypted digitally!!!!!!! by persons identified as “ISIS, ” which led to their almost accomplishing something.

Dude, the President drone-bombed an 8-year old American girl and a bunch of other civilians, and killed some Navy Seal at the same time. What’s in the the Times? I shit you not, a 14″ x 10″ picture of a ditch where some guy allegedly left a plastic bag full of chemicals which two doofuses failed to make into a bomb.

This is where nothing happened.jpg In a week when tens of thousands of Muslims’ lives have been thrown into turmoil by the cruel and ill-intentioned whims of our bigot-in-chief, what purpose does this article serve? Is this utterly transparent, hamhanded right-wing propaganda, or are they just, finally, finally stupid at the New York Times? This crap should warrant a paragraph on page 14.

Seriously, besides the guys who couldn’t make a bomb, descriptions of teeny plots:

*where a man was supposed to attack a bar with a machete, but didn’t?
*where 2 guys were directed BY THE INTERNET to 2 rusted pistols in a plastic bag hanging from a tree, with which they accomplished nothing
* and a couple different guys who accidentally blow themselves up instead of other people
*and a guy who shot himself in the leg

There are a couple of actual successful homicides detailed as well; to be clear, neither the level of violence described, nor the level of HI-TECH INTERNET INTRIGUE  warrants news coverage in our epoch of horrific conspiracy and carnage.

Sometimes it’s like the NYT forgets that in this utterly fake “War on Terror”, the U.S. has killed more than a million people: we’ve spent trillions of dollars . We’ve met the Terrorist, and he is us. These penny-ante plots aren’t worth ink.

I hate you New York Times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About nitrovonborax

The Mighty Arthammer of von Borax strikes the Anvil of Universal Consciousness, forging Iconic Singularities of Metaphor. Nitro von Borax is widely recognized as the natural heir to the crumbling facade of an empire that Thomas Kinkade built with massmarket hack-retouched cottagey papscapes, which glow as though lit by pernicious chip-grease fires within and trigger pleasurable dissociative transport to the plebian viewer. Mr. von Borax, known to his discerning, sophisticated & politically progressive fans as "The Painter of Sprinkly Sparkles," pulls inspiration from Betty & Veronica BOTH, stolen travel brochures & comic books, Martin Denny & Italian Giallo Movies to visualize and manifest pure unfettered awesomeness for your astral excursions. His portfolio resonates at a frequency only bats can hear.

Posted on February 5, 2017, in Useless Observations and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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