Monthly Archives: November 2017


Q. Why didn’t Karl Marx laugh at the joke?
A. Because not everybody would get it



The Bimbo’s Girl for No Good Reason

So I opened my front door, and the mysterious Uncle Mikey had left me a 3’x2′ reminder of the restaurant founded by Matt “Bimbo” Chutich, who called himself “The Friendly Yugoslav,” where, at 7 years old, I liked to guzzle red pop, pizza and elaborate sundaes, throwing peanut shells on the floor, listening to live dixieland music and EVERYBODY AT THE PARTY GOT A STRAW BOATER HAT. Though it wasn’t actually straw but like styrofoam. I touched up the print because there was some hot fudge on her thigh….


Ah, the good old-fashioned days. These days, you put a picture like this up in your Popular Family Restaurant and everybody’s like….wait…yikes, man, is that girl like fifteen years old?? Jesus, Frank, we’ve got to get the children out of here-

Regardless, that was really thoughtful of Uncle Mikey- THANKS MIKE!!!! (who points out that she’s wearing an engagement ring, for whatever that’s worth)

It ALMOST makes me want to listen to Dixieland Jazz



Q. What’s a twin’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Twocumber.

Q. What’s the Immigrant’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Newcumber.

Q. What’s a small Hawaiian guitarist’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Ukeumber.

Q. What’s a card player’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Euchrember.

Q. What’s a German Divebomber’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Stukamber.

Q. What’s an Australian’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Kookumbera.

Q. What’s a Ghost’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Spookumber.

A. What’s a Businessman’s favorite vegetable?
Q. a Luchrember.

Q. What’s the Pirates’ favorite vegetable?
A. a Crewcumber.

Q. What’s a Seeker’s favorite vegetable?
A. The Truecumber.







A Girl on the Moon

Special commission for one of my very favorite patrons:




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