Category Archives: Varietals of Roadprize

The Bimbo’s Girl for No Good Reason

So I opened my front door, and the mysterious Uncle Mikey had left me a 3’x2′ reminder of the restaurant founded by Matt “Bimbo” Chutich, who called himself “The Friendly Yugoslav,” where, at 7 years old, I liked to guzzle red pop, pizza and elaborate sundaes, throwing peanut shells on the floor, listening to live dixieland music and EVERYBODY AT THE PARTY GOT A STRAW BOATER HAT. Though it wasn’t actually straw but like styrofoam. I touched up the print because there was some hot fudge on her thigh….


Ah, the good old-fashioned days. These days, you put a picture like this up in your Popular Family Restaurant and everybody’s like….wait…yikes, man, is that girl like fifteen years old?? Jesus, Frank, we’ve got to get the children out of here-

Regardless, that was really thoughtful of Uncle Mikey- THANKS MIKE!!!! (who points out that she’s wearing an engagement ring, for whatever that’s worth)

It ALMOST makes me want to listen to Dixieland Jazz



Obscure Artifact Auction: Lot 1: 11:34.52



We’re tidying up the Castle Borax Artifact Dungeon, in case of nuclear war, which means that for the first time I’ve had to consider actually (shudder) selling some of the artifacts  collected through various adventures, mostly classified. Because of the delicate nature of these items, they were originally intended for posthumous release. But, oh well.

Bids will be entertained on this Devotional Alter, looted by pirates from the Extremely Small Isle of Anthropomorphic Ants just previous to its obliteration by a relatively modest tidal wave, occurring at  11:34.52 PM 4/17/1782. Amazingly, the technology of the tiny, doomed inhabitants of this isle had progressed to a point equivalent to modern anthropomorphic humans, as evidenced by the clock (which froze at the moment of the destruction of the island) and what appears to be glittery polymer clay.

This a full commanding 2.25″.  Place it just off-center on your massive marble mantle, lit with a tiny, tiny, incandescent spotlight, for an artistic understatement that will leave the most jaded of cognoscenti quavering in weepy revelation.

Bids start at $21,701.42, and will be entertained for an indeterminate amount of time

Concrete Jungle

I found a lost valley of 1960’s Miller-Melberg Concrete Playground Sculptures. A thrilling wildlife tableau unfolded.

Concrete Cheese Threatened by Concrete Turtle


The Big Red Concrete Cheese felt threatened by an approaching Concrete Turtle

concrete cheese

Refused help from a nearby Concrete DNA, the Cheese Stands Alone and affronted

concrete dna

TheConcrete DNA really felt pretty twisted up about it secretly

concrete horsies

Meanwhile the world’s most minimalist Concrete Horsies stood around pretending nothing was happening

concrete turtle

The Concrete Cheese needn’t have worried: The Concrete Turtle was having an existential crisis and felt rooted in place by ennui


Ultimately, the Concrete DNA reached a point of acceptance

Update: Miller-Melberg playground sculptures

Update # 2: a Miller-Melberg Turtle accosted me in Grand Haven, Michigan last week:



Roadprize# 3468: Big Hook


Roadprize 3463: Chrome Folding Knife


Roadprize #3462


Roadprize 3452


Roadprize #3447

Roadprize #3436

Roadprize #3444

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