Category Archives: What is it Now??

Scans & random Images of stuff I find in the street and from the vast dismal swamp of the interwebs etc.

Lurid Sideshow Gallery for No Good Reason

I happened across these paintings at a Sideshow at the Saline Community Fair- some of the excellent artworks are signed by a fellow whom the internets can’t find named T. Frank, way back in ’80, so, like, that Spider Girl has been active for 27 years, which is impressive. Others are signed by Glen C. Davies of Illinois, and MEAH Studios did the main sign.

I think I just found my next career.

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How to Drive in Detroit

1. Not “I-75.” It’s the CHRYSLER FREEWAY if you’re motorvatin’ between Downtown Detroit and Pontiac, or the FISHER FWY from Downtown Detroit on Downriver

2. Ain’t “I-94″ that goes East to Port Huron and West to Chicago. It’s the EDSEL FORD FWY

3. It’s not “I-96 ” that comes out of Downtown and heads for Brighton, Lansing and points West, It’s the JEFFRIES (alternately known as the ROSA PARKS for the 3 miles between Ford Rd. and the Fisher Freeway, more recently)

4. It’s not “I-696″ running parallel to 11 Mile Road between I-275 and the Edsel Ford, It’s the WALTER P. REUTHER FWY.

5. It’s not “M-10.” It’s the JOHN C. LODGE

6. It’s not “M-8.” It’s the DAVISON

7. It’s not “M-39.” It’s the SOUTHFIELD FWY

…if you refer to TELEGRAPH as US-24, Le Nain Rouge will bite off your kneecaps

A Digression on Postcards Wherein Women are Threatened by Alligators

Listed here are the psychologically engaging aspects of this perfect postcard, which I purchased off the rack in Florida my own self maybe fifteen years ago during one of the intense theme-park and biological engineering research trips for Piggleyland:

  1. The amped-up hand-painted colors. Please tell me what that bikini color is: I cannot find a word. I’m not sure it wholly refracts correctly on my corneas
  2. The alligator is cruelly reduced and crudely cut & pasted, with probably literal paste
  3. The now-opaque reference to an ancient cigarette campaign wherein people would be punched in the eye for supporting cigarettes of choice (*see below for examples stolen from interweb).
  4. This clever turn of phrase, “Us Florida Alligators would rather BITE than SWITCH,” was SO VERY compelling and hilarious that several variant versions featuring different models can  be found**
  5. In all variants, the alligator knows that he’s quoting a cigarette campaign, as evidenced by the otherwise redundant quotation marks in the word balloon. That’s a sophisticated, market-savvy reference for the average crocodilian from the Paleoscene
  6. I think this postcard probably post-dates the famous “WOW! We Alligators Do Have Fun in Florida/Louisiana/New Orleans” Betty Page postcard*** by some years, and I suspect the artist would admit it was derivative, unless an homage
  7. Nobody REALLY wants to see these poor women bitten by alligators: an American alligator bites at around 2,900 pounds per square inch (lions and tigers bite at about 1,000 psi. I myself bite at only around 175 psi when at the peak of righteous fury & bloodlust)-even small (or cruelly reduced) alligators have more than 80 razor-sharp teeth.  Let’s face it: it could be pretty depressing to see some lady get bitten on the rear end by an alligator.  But beyond the cheap frisson evoked by the common icon of Woman-in-Peril, these cards sell because the sight of sun-warmed flesh makes the reptilian brain hungry on some primeval level, don’t they? That tells us something about ourselves, doesn’t it? Or is it just plain slapstick, and I should shut up?

Here’s the postcard that haunts my nightmares:

us-florida-alligators

*Cigarette campaign:

the-fight-for-cigarettes-of-choice

People just don’t get punched in the eye for humor the way they used to, you know?

AAAAUUUUGGGHH.jpg

**Variants from interwebs:

Us Florida Alligators would rather Bite than Switch - Fun in Florida

Us Florida Alligators Would Rather Bite Than Switch

This woman’s presentation pose is weird but the Hat is Inexplicable

***Referent Betty Page postcards:

wow-we-alligators-do-have-fun-in-floridawow-we-alligators-do-have-fun-in-louisianawow-we-alligators-do-have-fun-in-new-orleans

****Bonus Saucy Wow! Variant:

Wow! Saucy Variant.jpg

*****Bonus Alligator-Biting-Butt Card that looks terrifyingly realistic

5505b636efbf4_84511b

******Lest you worry, here’s how it all turns out in the sequel:

beauty-and-the-beast

 

Trumpets: Collect ’em ALL. fig 6: Steven Terner Mnuchin

Steven Mnuchin

 

Trumpets: Collect ’em ALL. fig 5: Elisabeth DeVos

Betsy DeVos testifies before the Senate Health, Education and Labor Committee confirmation hearing

Betsy DeVos testifies before the Senate Health, Education and Labor Committee confirmation hearing to be next Secretary of Education on Capitol Hill in Washington, U.S., January 17, 2017. original photo via REUTERS/Yuri Gripas – 

 

Trumpets: Collect ’em ALL. fig 4: Stephen Kevin Bannon

Donald Trump

Trumpets: Collect ’em ALL. fig 3: Edward Scott Pruitt

trumpetpruitt

Trumpets: Collect ’em ALL. fig.2: Rex Wayne Tillerson

trumpetrex-tillerson1

Trumpets: Collect ’em ALL. fig.1: Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III

Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley Meets With Attorney General Nominee Jeff Sessions

“Oh Beauregard! Come here, Boy!”

Jefferson B.S.3, from Alabama, has an impressively loathsome record of legislation . But why bother listening to me about him, when you can hear what Coretta Scott King said about him the last time someone attempted to appoint this cracker: Read PDF below.

338729117-scott-king-1986-letter-and-testimony-signed

The Residence of George Burns & Gracie Allen for No Good Reason

Found a postcard. Look at that palatial mansion! Boy, these celebrities sure live high on the hog. They’ve got an attached garage!!!!!

In Beverly Hills, CA, in what? 1960? Burns and Allen are gone now, bless them, but I bet, like, those Kardashians or Kanye West lives in this place now.

burns-and-allen

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