Category Archives: Yet Incidentally
I went to this cheap diner for breakfast:
They serve Cornish Eggs with Hash Beiges
The Toast is mostly recycled
The Napkins are Toast that’s past the point where it can be recycled as more Toast
You can choose Ham, Bacon or Sausage, but it’s all Guinea Pork
The Short Stack of Pancakes is below plate level: it’s a plate served on top of a pancake
Upon closer inspection, the plate was a hubcap they’d just pulled off my car
There’s a lot of awful in their Waffle
Their Silver Dollar Pancakes are the size of dimes and they will blame deflation
If you want syrup, they give you a metal straw and seat you on the patio near a tree
The Butter is real, but they milk the cook for it
The Farmer’s Omelette has to be federally subsidized
If you ask for a fork they give you some metal cutters for your spoon
I asked for a knife and the waitress said, “HA! I’m not giving you a weapon.”
I asked for some orange juice: she gave me a kumquat, a c-clamp and a shotglass
The coffee was so weak that the waitress served it with last rites
The sugar is dispensed by the grain
The half & half is 60/40
It costs extra to get the check and leave, so it’s usually pretty crowded
Q. Why didn’t Karl Marx laugh at the joke?
A. Because not everybody would get it
Q. What’s a twin’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Twocumber.
Q. What’s the Immigrant’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Newcumber.
Q. What’s a small Hawaiian guitarist’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Ukeumber.
Q. What’s a card player’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Euchrember.
Q. What’s a German Divebomber’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Stukamber.
Q. What’s an Australian’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Kookumbera.
Q. What’s a Ghost’s favorite vegetable?
A. a Spookumber.
A. What’s a Businessman’s favorite vegetable?
Q. a Luchrember.
Q. What’s the Pirates’ favorite vegetable?
A. a Crewcumber.
Q. What’s a Seeker’s favorite vegetable?
A. The Truecumber.
So this psychologist is at a restaurant with three men, and she says, “Hey, here’s an exercise: I’m going to drop this handkerchief on a table, and you tell me what thoughts it brings to mind.” And she takes a white handkerchief and tosses it to float down onto the tabletop.
The first man says: “That’s interesting- looking at the handkerchief, I see a topography: Mountain ranges, cresting waves…”
The second says: “Huh- when you dropped the handkerchief, I was reminded of the way that the corporeal form sheds its spirit, leaving only the carapace of the being that was…”
The third man says, “That reminds me of sex.”
The psychologist says, “OK- why does that make you think about sex?
The third man says, “I only think about sex.”
Q: How do you explain the first pig in line at the slaughterhouse?
A: Simple hambition
Q. Why couldn’t the crocodile admit he ate the Pharoh?
A. Because he was in denial
Q; Why did the Bay of Pigs invasion fail?
A: the C.I.A. ran out of Ham Grenades