Here’s my Great-Great-Great Grandfather, William “Boss” Wreford, known as the Father of Detroit’s Meat Trade, in a picture from around 100 years ago. He arrived in Detroit from Devon, England in 1851 or 1852 and established the biggest meat market in Detroit, located first across the street from where the Renaissance Center is now, and then in Cadillac Square. I figured I should let him out of the archives for a look at the 21st century, but I can’t be sure how he feels about the state of things…
Where the whole family exults in all-you-can-eat Tub-Style corn, meats and fixins!
Families are seated at- or, possibly, in, “FAMILY TUBBLES”(registered trademark pending): essentially a washtub on a center post.
Frenetic character-based staff dash around in internationally-themed outfits carrying buckets of processed foods designed for easy slopping from buckets into the FAMILY TUBBLE. Patrons will indicate desired buckets by waving corresponding flags, clearly labeled “Mexican, German, American, Chinese”
1. “Charmin’ Miranda” or “Muncho Villa” hurl mixed CobCorn, Burmeatos, Jalapeno Cornbreadlets, Fajeaters, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
2. “Kaiser Roll” or “Liederhosen Tartlet” toss CobCorn, Miniwursts, WeeSchnitzels, SpatzenCubes, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
3. “Uncle Samwich” or “Lady Lobster Biberty” pitch CobCorn, BBQ Scraps ‘n’ Tatters, ChickenToes, Burgerballs, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
4. “Servin’ Samurai” or “Meow Se Tung ” throw Baby CobCorn, EggRollers, KungPowPoppers, WakkiTeriyaki, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
IMPORTANT BRANDING ISSUE: CORN IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Corn offers Security, Wholesomeness and Thematic Unity. DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT CORN!!!!!!!
Beverages most likely served Hose-Style.
Roll up your sleeves and trousers and tuck into to THE FAMILY TUB, for gut-buckets of face-stuffin’ fun!
This franchise concept still available for $2,742,114.72, including tax, from von Borax Business Consulting