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Highlights of Final Draft of Remarkably Repiglican 2012 Michigan Corporate Coup

The Repiglican Budget:

K12 schools lose $300 per student next year, on top of the $170 per student they were already scheduled to lose. Some public schools could get back $100 per student if they can fit some agenda-driven criteria, such as attempting to outsource noneducational services (1), making their teachers & other employees pay for health benefits(2), and transfering health insurance policy holdership to school district control(3).

Public Universities lose 15% of their budget, & Community Colleges lose 4%.

Universities have to report all stem cell research to the state. Universities are prohibited from providing benefits to unmarried domestic partners.

Welfare children lose an $80 per year clothing allowance.

People with disabilities lose $69 per month, of the $269 they currently get.

Prisons lose 3.5% of their budget- nutraloaf, anyone?- & are required to bid out their food and prisoner stores(1).

State Police lose 1.6% of their budget.

Cities & Townships lose $100 million in discretionary aid, & the remaining $200 million is  tied to their adopting agenda-driven policies (1 &2).

Additional Repiglican Taxes:

All people born after 1952 are now taxed on annual income generated by their pensions & retirement accounts:  the state hopes your 401k is performing well.

People born after 1946 who make more than 20,000/$40,000 married are now taxed on pension & retirement account income.

People who make more than $50,000 per year lose the Homestead Property Tax Credit.

People whose home has more than $135,000 in taxable value (270,000 sale price) lose the Homestead Property Tax Credit.

People who make more than $40,000 per year lose part of the Homestead Property Tax Credit.

The poorest families in Michigan lose two thirds of the Earned Income Tax Credit. Nearly 800,000 families receive this credit currently- they get an average of $436 per year. Well, they used to.

People on welfare will lose benefits after 48 months.

Here’s The Big Win:

“Businesses” win tax cuts of one point seven billion dollars.  And, just for an extra twist of the knife, when they have layoffs despite their payoffs,  they’ll pay unemployment for six weeks less than they used to have to, thanks to Snyder.

Recall Snyder Website

(1) instead of contracting through, for instance, union employees

(2) instead of job-inclusive health benefits

(3) instead of having the policyholder be, for instance, a teacher’s union

P.S. Yes, the new  Emergency Manager Legislation  also sucks.

A Pirate Poem

“Avast ye, me hearties! A ship to starboard!
And she’s loaded with spices and silk!”
“Do you think they have cream?” A pirate implored;
“I prefer cream in tea, over milk.”
The mate and the swabs chewed upon their hard tack
With cutlasses sharpened, and knives:
(Though some of them knitted , and some played with jacks,
And some wrote sweet poems to their wives.)
The parrot croaked, “murder!” and epithets foul,
And the Captain lit candles in beard
And adjusted his eyepatch, his hook and his scowl,
And thought about wenches, and leered.
But the swabs were distracted by talk of ballet,
And the mate had to check on his fern,
The gunners were busy with their macrame,
And the pies in the oven would burn.
Soon the ship with rich booty was too far to see,
And the Captain he hung up his hook,
And sat down to crumpets and cupcakes and tea,
And read a nice romantic book.

Come Down, You Winged Monkey

Statement of Intent

Here’s the Plan:

the plan

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