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Obscure Artifact Auction: Lot 6: Robocyclop #227

Number 227 of Dr. Sinestard’s One Thousand Robocyclop Guards: Dormant. Was clinging to my jetpack when I made it out of the crater.

Warning: If Dr. Sinestard was not in fact killed by the explosions, this could potentially be remotely reactivated. I didn’t have proper shielding to remove its plutonium battery. Bids start at $9,999.99

Obscure Artifact Auction: Lot 5: Neptunian Whazelle Skull

Not a hunting trophy: This unfortunate creature was beheaded by a Neptroll for lunch. I won the head from him at Baccarat, as he had little else to bet. Man, was he peevish! He ate half the deck of cards. These Whazelles are, when attached to bodies and not partially eaten by trolls, magnificent, cavorting under the pale light of Triton.  Taking bids from $32,742.07 up.

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Obscure Artifact Auction: Lot 4: Crucif Eye

Seized by the FBI’s Cult Division from an underground bunker in Miami, this Unholy Relic features the One-Eyed God of Monetization. Bids from $15,233.29, please.

Obscure Artifact Auction: Lot 3: Prison Moon Europa Insurrection Weapons

I got most of the dried green Borfalian blood off of these. Bids start at just  $3,287.21.

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Obscure Artifact Auction: Lot 2: Plasmotron 3000

This Plasmotron 3000 was acquired at GRAVE PERSONAL RISK from the scrapfields of Njuursten, deep inside the arctic circle.  An improvised  human defense weapon from the final battle in the Robot Wars, 1934. Starting bid: $4,213.

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Obscure Artifact Auction: Lot 1: 11:34.52

 

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We’re tidying up the Castle Borax Artifact Dungeon, in case of nuclear war, which means that for the first time I’ve had to consider actually (shudder) selling some of the artifacts  collected through various adventures, mostly classified. Because of the delicate nature of these items, they were originally intended for posthumous release. But, oh well.

Bids will be entertained on this Devotional Alter, looted by pirates from the Extremely Small Isle of Anthropomorphic Ants just previous to its obliteration by a relatively modest tidal wave, occurring at  11:34.52 PM 4/17/1782. Amazingly, the technology of the tiny, doomed inhabitants of this isle had progressed to a point equivalent to modern anthropomorphic humans, as evidenced by the clock (which froze at the moment of the destruction of the island) and what appears to be glittery polymer clay.

This a full commanding 2.25″.  Place it just off-center on your massive marble mantle, lit with a tiny, tiny, incandescent spotlight, for an artistic understatement that will leave the most jaded of cognoscenti quavering in weepy revelation.

Bids start at $21,701.42, and will be entertained for an indeterminate amount of time

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