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Captain Sugarbeard: Poem & Picture, BOTH

Captain SugarbeardNVB

I’ve sailed hot seas of chocolate,
The bane of lolly-boats,
The truffle-barges yield their freight
(So they can better float)!
I’m maple syruptitious
When the waffle ferries pass:
They’re ambushed, then delicious
When I ravage them at last!

My appetite’s voracious
For plundered carrot cake,
I tend to wax loquacious
Over tartlets, freshly baked,
My crew and I have pillaged
Salted caramels by the pile,
Our hideout is no village,
But a secret dessert isle!
I have drunk an egg cream ocean
And a lake of malted milk
Filled with furious emotion!
Clad in fruit leather and silk!
The Captains of the donut ships
And galleons of jam
All know to fear these frosted lips-
The Captains know I am:

The dreaded Captain Sugarbeard!
The scourge of seven sweets!
The bonbon Barons quake in fear
At thoughts of ravished fleets!

The stolen bales of macaroons
And casks of lemonade
And danishes with sugared prunes
They’re right to be afraid.
Surrender, candy clippers,
For my Jelly Roger flies!

(But the dolphins clap their flippers
For I share the cherry pies).
The dreaded Captain Sugarbeard!
The ravening Corsair!
Your nougats shall be commandeered,
Confectioners beware!

Pirate Painting #5,321

Pyrates 5321nitrovonborax

Acrylic on Wooden Crate

Pirate Drawing #53,321

Pirates.Ar & Skeet

Wherefore “Skeet!”? Who is the dashing headless swashbuckler?

I don’t remember. I drew it seven years ago and just got around to erasing the pencils and coloring…

A Pirate Poem

“Avast ye, me hearties! A ship to starboard!
And she’s loaded with spices and silk!”
“Do you think they have cream?” A pirate implored;
“I prefer cream in tea, over milk.”
The mate and the swabs chewed upon their hard tack
With cutlasses sharpened, and knives:
(Though some of them knitted , and some played with jacks,
And some wrote sweet poems to their wives.)
The parrot croaked, “murder!” and epithets foul,
And the Captain lit candles in beard
And adjusted his eyepatch, his hook and his scowl,
And thought about wenches, and leered.
But the swabs were distracted by talk of ballet,
And the mate had to check on his fern,
The gunners were busy with their macrame,
And the pies in the oven would burn.
Soon the ship with rich booty was too far to see,
And the Captain he hung up his hook,
And sat down to crumpets and cupcakes and tea,
And read a nice romantic book.

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