Where the whole family exults in all-you-can-eat Tub-Style corn, meats and fixins!
Families are seated at- or, possibly, in, “FAMILY TUBBLES”(registered trademark pending): essentially a washtub on a center post.
Frenetic character-based staff dash around in internationally-themed outfits carrying buckets of processed foods designed for easy slopping from buckets into the FAMILY TUBBLE. Patrons will indicate desired buckets by waving corresponding flags, clearly labeled “Mexican, German, American, Chinese”
1. “Charmin’ Miranda” or “Muncho Villa” hurl mixed CobCorn, Burmeatos, Jalapeno Cornbreadlets, Fajeaters, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
2. “Kaiser Roll” or “Liederhosen Tartlet” toss CobCorn, Miniwursts, WeeSchnitzels, SpatzenCubes, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
3. “Uncle Samwich” or “Lady Lobster Biberty” pitch CobCorn, BBQ Scraps ‘n’ Tatters, ChickenToes, Burgerballs, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
4. “Servin’ Samurai” or “Meow Se Tung ” throw Baby CobCorn, EggRollers, KungPowPoppers, WakkiTeriyaki, etc. (registered trademarks pending)
IMPORTANT BRANDING ISSUE: CORN IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Corn offers Security, Wholesomeness and Thematic Unity. DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT CORN!!!!!!!
Beverages most likely served Hose-Style.
Roll up your sleeves and trousers and tuck into to THE FAMILY TUB, for gut-buckets of face-stuffin’ fun!
This franchise concept still available for $2,742,114.72, including tax, from von Borax Business Consulting
I mean, technically it’s breakfastime as I post this, but I’m already sure looking forward to my processed fats ‘n’ chemicals tonite- another nonfood ingestible hunger solution from the fine people at Phoodco Multiglomerate
You know what we like to do for recreation? We like to go into creditcard debt to purchase shiny crap made by miserable sweatshop slaves. It’s so relaxing.
Yes, that’s the whole entire homestead. They’re keeping ahead of the Joneses, though. The Joneses are right behind them in a 1987 Toyota sedan with a cracked windshield. DRIVE ON, AMERICANS!